July 2024 Book Club
You Should Be Grateful by Angela Tucker
Summary
“Your parents are so amazing for adopting you! You should be grateful that you were adopted.”
Angela Tucker is a Black woman, adopted from foster care by white parents. She has heard this microaggression her entire life, usually from well-intentioned strangers who view her adoptive parents as noble saviors. She is grateful for many aspects of her life, but being transracially adopted involves layers of rejection, loss, and complexity that cannot be summed up so easily.
In “You Should Be Grateful,” Tucker centers the experiences of adoptees to share deeply personal stories, well-researched history, and engrossing anecdotes from mentorship sessions with adopted youth. These perspectives challenge the fairy-tale narrative of adoption, giving way to a fuller story that explores the impacts of racism, classism, family, love, and belonging.
Discussion Questions
1. What did you learn about adoption from Angela's story? What did you learn about yourself?
2. Throughout the book, Angela shares her journey with identity formation as a transracial adoptee, and as a Black person growing up in a white family. What do you think other adoptive parents need to know? What roles can you fill in supporting adoptees?
3. "You should be grateful" is a microaggression that Angela hears throughout her life. Have you ever heard that phrase said? Or said it yourself? How did your perspective change after you heard Angela's story?